this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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