i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
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Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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