i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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