this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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