How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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