Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
