3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
