scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
