Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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