I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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