I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
