im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
whose parrot is this?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
