I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
