it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
