She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
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just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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