S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
