At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
