Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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