I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize