this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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