You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
