i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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