great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
