I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
