It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize