Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
