Plan B is the new Plan A
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
