Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize