Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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