Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
