I just cut my nipple shaving
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
did i walk over a car last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
