piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
