there was a trapeze. enough said
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
