Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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