Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
