Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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