Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
