You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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