i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
