Can Purell be used as lube?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
