Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
