Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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