She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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