wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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