i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
