New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize