I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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