i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
