My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize