I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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