Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
