Don't make out with my wife yet
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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