his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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