Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize