I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize