We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
