Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
