i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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