we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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